When in the Hoosier State, Do as the Hoosiers Do.

(July 10, 2006)

So, I'm laying on Steve's futon, ready to sleep, and I keep hearing this buzzing. It's this tiny unidentified green bug that can't stop, won't stop body-slamming the wall. I've chosen not to kill it because that's not very zen. Also, I'm not tall enough to reach it. I started sighing loudly and giving it meaningful looks that say, "Fine, if you don't care about your exoskeleton, neither do I" (our relationship is kind of passive-agressive), but it seems bent on self-destruction (I should note that technique has never worked with my students, either). It could be worse. I could be on a plane packed with uncontrolled venomous snakes. Or, I could be the person responsible for allowing Snakes on a Plane to be created.

Fine. I'm awake. Here's a blog.

I'm in Indiana for the ridiculously over-the-top Fourth of July party hosted annually by Steve's neighbors. Now I know why the wealthy deserve all those tax breaks: they really do love America more than the wage slaves. And what better way to display your patriotism than with pyrotechnics? I now know what $50,000 worth of fireworks looks like. Awesome.

Aside from the fireworks, guests were treated to two outdoor bars with free drinks and bartenders we weren't allowed to tip, a giant buffet, big inflatable stuff (like slides, a jousting ring, and a bounce house), and a cover band with a badass horn section.

This was an all-day event, but things really started on Friday.

We rolled in Friday night to a houseful of rowdy Christadelphians acting like derelicts. Everything was fine until Meg went missing. Forty-five minutes later, sobered and freaked out, Ashley, Paul and I find Meg, running toward us through the backyard, covered in mud and soaking wet. Kind of like Swamp Thing, but more disoriented. I asked what happened to her. She said, "I don't know. I went swimming, and then I was in a forest, and then I heard all these horses and I took my shoes off and just started running."

And, after all this, the Christos got up Sunday morning and went to church.

These Hoosiers sure know how to party.