I'm just not sure how I feel about everyone else maybe having health care.

Praise Allah! Barack Hussein Obama just won't stop terrorizing the American public by trying to offer them health care! Will there be no relief?

I guess I shouldn't be surprised that everyone's turning on Obama now that he's trying to make good on some of the promises that got him elected. I mean, we're not used to that kind of -- oh, what's the word?

Honesty? Integrity? Doing the job you're paid to do? I can't remember; I'm so used to this:



Anyway, suddenly every illiterate fucker is just swelling with civic pride. It hasn't been this hip to be politically active since back in the day when people were afraid of AIDS. I don't know why lunatics always scream the loudest, but if I hear one more person say anything remotely similar to "I want my country back," I'm going to commit a hate crime. Really. I can't take this anymore.



Oh, you love America? You get all hard and tingly for the founding fathers? Show me where it says "All men are created equal, but some aren't entitled to health care." Show me where it says "... life (unless you have a preexisting condition), liberty, and the pursuit of happiness." Because if not everyone deserves health care, then not everyone deserves to live (Right, Deamonte?). And that must mean that everyone who's fighting this health care reform is pro-choice, because otherwise they're hypocrites, right?

Right, guys?

Guys?

And stop saying you're against government medicine if you're on Medicare. Really. You're done. Thanks for playing.

After two years of completely inadequate health insurance, followed by six months of no insurance, I've grown really fond of my nearly-adequate health insurance plan. And I know change can be scary. But I can't even tell what I'm supposed to be afraid of anymore because all the lines of propaganda are getting crossed. Plus, no one's actually read the health care reform bill because it's 2,000 pages long. That, to me, implies that some thought might have gone into it, but, who knows. It's weird: I feel like we've been here before.

All I can tell, so far, is that this isn't really about Obama trying to limit anyone's freedom -- unless you consider limiting the haves' freedom to oppress the have-nots a violation of Constitutional rights. I didn't see that in there, but, please, show me. This is about us not wanting to pay for them, and being forced to consider the notion that our money might not buy us privilege anymore.

And now that I think about it, well, shit. I was getting really comfortable with my little piece of hegemony. But, remember kindergarten? Sometimes we have to share our toys. It's kind of like how I don't feel I should have to keep paying into social security since I'm not going to see any of that money, but it keeps coming out of my checks anyway. That's what it really looks like to lose your freedom of choice, and I don't hear anyone complaining about that. So can it, yokel.

Maybe, before we oppose our scary new black President, we should try to figure out what he really has planned for us. This doesn't even read like satire anymore.