I'm a dude playing a dude disguised as another dude.

Even though parents have brought guns to my school to give to their kids -- so that they could shoot other kids -- yesterday was the first incident of violence that involved the successful implementation of weaponry.

I hate to brag, but we made it all the way through the winter break before someone tried to cut a bitch with a box cutter. Because no one actually got hurt, I'm willing to admit that this is somewhat humorous to me; I know you can hijack a plane with one, but it's still the world's lamest weapon. I remember using them in art class, in elementary school. That this one-sided knife fight happened in a Spanish class elevates the story's status to Hilarious in my eyes.