A Celebration of Crazy Mothers.

In celebration of Mother's day, and inspired by yet another accidental viewing of Bravo's The Millionaire Matchmaker, I've composed a Top 10 list of my all-time favorite crazy mothers. Another way of looking at this might be Top 10 Women I Love That Dudes Hate, or Top 10 Women Not to Bring Home to Mom on Mother's Day, or Introduce to Your Sister's Husband.

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1. Tie: Angelina Jolie / Gisele Bundchen. For pilfering the seemingly-unpilferable in the most public ways imaginable. I have to admit -- I respect this, and I plan to do it one day, for the only reason anyone has ever been The Other Woman: just because I can.

"Can I borrow this?"

2. Marie Antoinette. For pre-millenial achievements in self-involvement.

"I have seen all, I have heard all, I have forgotten all."

3. Lizzie Grubman. Because she drunkenly ran her SUV into a crowd of pedestrian untouchables, and just kept driving.

"If I have a good time, it's not a good sign."

4. Lisa Lopes. For actually doing what we were all thinking.

"What now, Andre?"

5. Courtney Love. Still crazy after all these years.

"I used to do drugs, but don't tell anyone or it will ruin my image."

6. Olivia Palermo. For outstanding achievements in cuntyness within the confines of the extremely short first season of The City.

"I may be a young girl, but behind every young girl is a powerful father."

7. Patti Stanger. Blunt honesty and blunt-cut bangs.

"Can I give you a make-over?"

8. Karl Lagerfeld. The bitchiest being without ovaries.

"Yesterday [after the Chanel couture show], I had a problem. I said, 'I'm sorry, you’ve got to tell this woman that she needs to be taken away. Her smell is not possible.'"

9. Taylor Royce. MVP of character development, Vh1's Tough Love.

"OH. EM. GEE."

10. Janice Dickinson. For taking a lighting crew to the DMV, among countless other reasons.

"I want to be the best-looking corpse there is."